Death to All Sues
by Narutard-Hellsinger
Summary: Hellsing One-shot. A stereotypical female moron is out on her own late at night. Alucard intervenes. Violence ensues. Rated T for some swearing.


Mary sucked in air through her gritted teeth, wincing as she slowly tugged at the glass shard embedded in her hand. She tossed it in the dustbin, along with the other remains of the cup that she had accidentally broken. She sighed as she stared at her wounded hand, her violent roommate-boyfriend would be furious if he found out about the glass. She sighed at the thought of his dreamy, malicious eyes.  
After making sure that there were no stray shards of glass, she made her way to the bathroom to look for plasters. After rummaging through the cabinet three times, she accepted that there were no plasters for her bleeding hand. She hastily grabbed a clump of toilet paper, clenched it in her fist and made her way to the entrance hall of the apartment.

Quickly pulling on her jacket, she exited the flat and hurried down the stairs. Mary exited the building, walking along the pavement that was shadowed by the night. Even though she was somewhat brave, and it was not at all safe to be out at night in this town. After all, it was the crappiest piece of real-estate outside of a warzone. And to add to it, she did not like walking around after dark.

She inhaled deeply as she walked; the twenty-four-hour convenience store wasn't too far away, but she didn't want to linger around for too long. Mary rounded the corner of the building she was walking along, and could see the lit-up store in the distance. It was nearly a block away. She continued to walk, focusing on the store ahead of her and ignoring the shadows that surrounded her. She refused to let her imagination get the better of her. After walking a few paces she came close to the private-owned park; well most people said that it was a park.

Mary stared at the high black fence; it seemed more like an estate. She tried to keep her distance from the fence; it was shrouded in darkness from the bulky trees and gave her an ominous feeling that just screamed 'STAY AWAY'. But, when she had walked a few paces further, her idiocy got the better of her. She stopped walking and peered between the bars of the railing; the rows of trees seemed to make their own barrier beyond the fence.

The sudden sound of a car speeding past made her jump. She gathered what little wits she had and mentally shook herself. She resumed her journey along the boundaries of the estate, wanting to get this over and done with.

"Hello, young lady."

Mary jumped around, a yelp escaping from her.

Standing against the fence, hands in pockets, was a tall man. His face was covered by the shadows, but she could see that he was wearing a well-tailored suit, for some reason. Then she went cold upon her sudden realisation; she had just passed the spot where he was standing, but he had not been there before. She tried to move but her legs felt like concrete, almost as if she were paralysed. Apparently her body didn't know 'flight or fight mode'.  
The figure chuckled, and Mary gasped when two red orbs glowed from his shadowy face. He took a step forward and into the light so that his whole body was visible. Mary gaped at his face; he was ghostly pale and skinny, with sunken eyes that glowed crimson. His sickly skin was stretched over his bony face. Lank, dirty locks of hair fell in his face and left grease stains on his skin. Despite these factors, she found him attractive. He obviously had some sort of supernatural power. He grinned; displaying abnormally sharp teeth that made her heart dance the waltz.

"You smell so wonderful," he murmured, walking towards her. Mary blushed; there was nothing more attractive than a creepy guy sniffing you. Sadly, she felt the urge to run away; he might be a serial killer. Before her foot had lifted off the ground, the man appeared next to her and grabbed her wrist.

"Y-you," she spluttered in bewilderment; her vocabulary was very limited. He chuckled, his grip on her wrist tightened.

"Do you want to run away?" he sneered. Mary tried to pull away, but it was as if her wrist had been clamped in iron shackles. He moved her hand closer to his face and closed his eyes, taking in an audible breath. When his eyes opened, the pupils had been reduced to slits.  
Mary stared in awe as he used his free hand to effortlessly pry open her fist – she wasn't resisting at all – where the tissue was now soaked with blood. He turned her hand over and allowed the tissue to be carried away by a breeze, leaving her wound exposed. The man grinned, tracing his tongue over his lips as he brought her hand closer to his mouth.

Mary didn't really try to resist, but either way it was futile against his inhuman grip. He sniffed her palm like a rabid animal, and without warning, squeezed her hand tightly. Mary cried out in pain; it felt as though he had broken the bones in her hand; how sexy. His grip tightened until the freshly-healed cut magically opened again, red droplets of her oddly-alluring blood oozed out. Mary watched pathetically as he lowered his face to her hand and skimmed the bleeding surface with his pale tongue. He lifted up his face, still wearing a manic grin and looked at her.

"Ah, so refreshing," he said in a rasping voice. "I think I'll take more from your neck now." Mary felt like she was in a dream-like state; this was too unreal to be happening, yet she could feel everything. He snaked his other arm around her waist and puller her closer. Only now did Mary become aware of her free hand that she had forgotten about, the idiot. With some hesitation, she reached into her jacket pocket and whipped out her small container of pepper spray.

She took aim at the man – monster was a more fitting title – and released the peppered contents. He let out a shriek, his grip loosened and the dumb girl took the opportunity to escape. While he clawed at his pain-stricken eyes, Mary bolted down the street, not daring to look back.

She rounded the corner, entering a narrow side street. It was devoid of any houses, except for the estate on her right. She skidded to a halt when she reached the end of the road; it was a dead-end. She stared up at the gates of the estate and glance behind her shoulder frantically. The only chance she had would be to trespass through the gates and take shelter in the forest.

Mary pushed her hands against the wrought iron bars of the gate, and to her astonishment they creaked open. How convenient. She quickly darted through, pushing the gates closed before sprinting off down the dark, gravel path that was lined by tall trees. Panting frantically, she only came to a stop when she could no longer see the gates behind her. She leaned tiredly against the trunk of a tree, trying to recollect her breath.

Mary took in her surroundings; darkness and trees. Her heart was beating uncontrollably, and the unnatural silence bothered her. There should be the sound of birds, or at least the chirping of insects. She took a step forward, making a loud crunch on the ground.

"Found you."

Mary screamed when the cold voice spoke out from behind her and something grabbed her wrist. Without warning, she was yanked backwards and slammed into a tree. The air was knocked out of her lungs.

"Did you really think that you could escape me?" the sneered as his hand curled around her throat. "I could smell you from miles away." A scream escaped her throat, but the sound was crushed when his grasp tightened. She tried to kick him, but he swiftly dodged her wonderfully dainty feet.  
He grabbed her still-bleeding hand and aggressively tugged it towards him. Without warning, he sunk his razor-like teeth into her palm. Even if she were able to scream, which she was, she was too shocked to do so. He drank her blood like a mosquito, gulping down a few times before he raised his head. He leaned in for her throat; to strike the finishing blow.

"What the hell is going on here?"

The monster and Mary glanced to the right, where they saw a figure standing in the moonlight. Mary's eyes widened in fear; his eyes were red. His skin was glowing it was so pale, and his hair was darker than the night itself. A flamboyant red coat was carelessly draped over his shoulders. The newcomer smirked and walked towards Mary and her attacker.

"You really know how to make a noise," he said disapprovingly. "And it's rude to trespass on other people's property." Without warning, he thrust out his hand and pierced the monster through the chest. It let out a screech, eyes rolling into the back of its head, tongue flailing around wildly before it exploded into a cloud of ash.

Mary turned her dopey expression to her saviour.

"Oh! You saved me," she spluttered. The red-eyed superhero raised an eyebrow at her. He grinned, exposing a mouth of razor-sharp teeth.

"I was talking about you," he said darkly. Mary's eyes widened. Before she could respond, Alucard lunged forward and ripped her head off by the neck. Blood gushed out of her neck like a fountain, painting the surroundings of the forest. Alucard smirked and snatched up her head, holding it by her hair. He smirked at her dumbfounded expression.

"Stupid Mary Sue," he sighed.

Not bothering to drink up the blood – he thought it would be nice to add some colour to the drab surroundings – he disappeared from the stereotypical vampire estate in Sue Town and returned to Integra's office back at Hellsing HQ.

Integra looked up from her paperwork when she sensed Alucard's presence.

"Well?" she asked.

"Another one down, a few more to go: that incestuous moron from that Cross Academy cesspit in god-knows-where, those _things_ from that Twilight bullshit, and anyone else from any other poorly thought-out vampire-themed media," he concluded. Integra nodded.

"Good," she said calmly, tapping the residue from her cigar into the ashtray.

"Well? What are your orders, my master?" he asked with a smirk.

She took a deep breath and stood up, cigar in hand, and glanced out of the window before turning to her servant.

"I WANT YOU TO FIND THEM AND MAKE THEM WISH THAT THEY'D NEVER BEEN CONCIEVED!" she yelled in an outbreak of rage, slamming her hands on her desk. "You will search and destroy! SEARCH AND DESTROY! Any resistance you encounter is to be CRUSHED! Hellsing does not run from our enemies! Kill them all! I order you to leave nothing but bloody stains in your wake!"

Alucard grinned evilly and bowed respectfully.

"Yes, my master."


End file.
